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  • Writer's pictureGwyneth Kerr Erwin, Ph.D., Psy.D

What’s Love Got To Do With “It’?



red hearts

Everything, but more.


Last week was my 50th wedding anniversary. My husband, Bill, and I were married for 44 years (before his death), married ten days after our one and only date. For both of us, it felt like a reunion, so we took the leap, saying “You’re here! Let’s go!” Crazy, some said. Don’t you want to think this through? exclaimed others. Having told my parents just a month earlier that I didn’t think I would ever get married because I knew the kind of man I wanted to marry but hadn’t found him. And I wasn’t willing to be married unless. I had been engaged twice and called both off. So when I called my folks to say I have something to tell you, my father preempted with, “You’re getting married.” Yep.


Getting married to each other was the most impulsive thing either of us had ever done (or done since), but it was the best decision I (and so said Bill), we each ever made. Throughout our life, even at the end when Alzheimer’s ravaged him, he still knew me, and we both would say, “I’d do it all over again.”


I’ve been asked: “How did you do it?” (not getting married, we just eloped, but being married, happily, through thick and thin).


That’s one of the points: you stay in the foxhole together, through thick and through thin, no matter what, and even then.


Love, but more.


What is the more?


Our Recipe for Loving for a Lifetime:

  • Unique, individualized (care)

  • Start with an unbreakable mixing bowl (commitment)

  • Fill in with an ample amount of flour (love)

  • Add cups of sugar (kindness, sweetness)

  • A tablespoon of salt (zest)

  • To taste, a sprinkle of pepper (spice)

  • Stir in cups of milk (fundamental food of life)

  • Add eggs (respect)

  • Add flavorings to taste (novelty, variety)

  • Fold in (coming together) and Stir till frothy (humor)

  • Pour into a baking dish (container)

  • Cook at even temperature (not too hot, not too cold) till warm and tasty (ongoing tending)

  • Enjoy for a lifetime (devotion)

Wishing each of you, the fulfillment of love —

in relationships, career, creativity, health, and joy!


Thank you. Dr. Gwyn Erwin

P.S. For discovering the power of love in early and lifelong development,

order your copy of The Developmental Lens:

A New Paradigm for Psychodynamic Diagnosis and Treatment today.



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